For about the last 4 years I’ve been questioning everything that I was taught and had come to believe about God, faith, religion, truth and all that stems from those beliefs. It has been one the most out of body experiences I have ever had. Never in a million years would I have thought at almost 50 years old that I’d be where I am now in my life regarding what it is I believe or no longer believe about God and truth.
This life experience has definitely been interesting to say the least. In helping me to deal with the this major change, I thought that I’d use writing as my own personal therapy as I navigate through this very foreign life experience. I’ve started and stopped and started and stopped and now I am starting again! Blogging in such a way as this is yet another new experience for me but I believe it may be helpful for me an perhaps a few others who have found themselves in a similar life experience.
I am thankful for the internet because through searching I have benefited tremendously from reading experiences shared by others. Knowing that you are not the only one going through what you’re going through is always helpful when you’re going through! Thanks to all of you who have shared your stories and provided help for me along the way and have not even known. As an African American I have often searched and wanted to hear voices of other African Americans but my experience has been that those voices are much fewer. However, I do know they too are out there as well.
So I’ve decided to take on the Mahatma Ghandi challenge and be the change I want to see in the world! I’ve decided to openly (well sorta openly) share my experience while I am yet living it in hopes that doing so might be a little helpful to somebody else. My hope is that in sharing my experience others will do the same and perhaps a dialogue will be formed that will be helpful to anyone who drops by to read this blog. At minimum it will be cathartic for me and perhaps one day it might be useful to my children as they mature and develop their own life paths!
I personally am someone who believes in a positive energy flow and considering this the blog will not be one to negatively bash others in any way. There are enough other avenues for that sort of dialogue and this won’t be one of them. This also won’t be a space for people to come to try to convince or persuade others to believe as they believe. This space is simple being developed to be a safe place for those who have the courage to question their beliefs and want to share the experience. At least this is what I envision at this point but who knows what the future will make of this blog. I am open and right now I’ll just go with the flow.
Having the courage to question isn’t easy and I have to honestly admit — sometimes I have the courage to do it and at other times I do not. Sometimes I just want to go back to the very day before I ever allowed myself to question, but in reality, I know that is just as impossible as a butterfly being able to return back into a chrysalis — absolutely impossible! So since going back is not an option I’ve decided to keep going forward and you are welcome to join me if you’d like!
Until the next time…